在准备留学文书时,大部分学校会问学生一个关于"Why Major"的问题,也许问法不同,但关注点都是一样的。今天带来了一篇"Why Major"的文书范文,来一起看看这篇文书的优缺点吧。
这是杜克大学针对普拉特工程学院申请者的文书题目:
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke. (250 words).
题目给了你足够的空间来谈论你感兴趣的工程类型、杜克大学的特定资源,以及你是如何随着时间的推移对工程产生兴趣的。
另一个需要注意的是这个题目是在问两个问题:
“你为什么想学习工程学?”
“你为什么特别想在这所学校学习?”
下面我们来分段解析一下文书范文,方便同学们参考哦!
1、用一个故事开头
“One Christmas morning when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set for my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science. I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering.
作者用了一个很棒的故事开头,并且提到了警报、灯光和传感器等具体事物,因此读者可以真正想象正在发生的事情,画面感很强。另一方面作者用了时间顺序,从圣诞节到寒假,然后以作者不再需要玩具后讨论结束,让读者更容易带入进去。
美中不足的是作者最后一句"I wanted to study engineering."有点突然,9岁的经历如果作为对于工程学的热情,这显然不够可信,如果作为激发了对工程学的兴趣,这会好得多。
2、平滑具体地过渡
Later in high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time. Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path.
这一段作者从童年故事过渡到高中学习中对生物工程的具体兴趣,整体上是不错的,但在谈论对健康和医疗保健的兴趣时,帮助人们是一个被过度使用的比喻。如果想让对生物工程的兴趣表现得更真实,在这里建议提供更多的细节,例如学生对哪些特定类型的医疗器械和跨学科研究感兴趣?他们对哪个领域的交叉点最感兴趣,为什么?
还有一点是作者提到了他理想的职业道路,但没有详细说明生物医学工程以外的研究领域。学习生物医学工程后,可以选择许多不同的途径,可以从事产品或药物的研发,或面向患者的研究、背后的研究等,如果增加这些细节的描述,文章就更加完美了。
3、与学校提供的资源联系起来
Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DuHatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds.
这段作者明确解释他为什么想在杜克大学学习生物医学工程,来回答题目的第二部分中的问题。这部分做得很好的一件事是他描述了杜克大学的特定资源和机会——DuHatch、The Foundry 和 Bass Connections。作者还提到了杜克大学教学中倡导的企业家精神,以及这对工程设计过程的重要性。通过与杜克大学的学术理念联系起来,这向招生官表明,这名学生不仅进行了研究,而且与学校本身有着共同的价值观。
但作者的第一句话"Duke offers unmatched resources"有点浪费文字,杜克已经知道他们在工程领域享有盛誉,不用学生再进行赞美了。
4、强调自己很适合学校
Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems, such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low income countries. Along the way I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.”
最后一段是个有力的结尾,强调了自己的职业目标和将会如何利用杜克大学的资源进行学习,让读者感到文字结构的完整。结合工程学与未来的社会贡献,表明该学生有自己独特的思考,同时它展示了对社区的奉献精神,这也是杜克大学所重视的。如果作者在文章的前面部分加入了这些对社会贡献的想法,并强调它们与杜克大学的契合度,将会使文章更加丰富。
对于杜克大学"Why Major"文书范文的分析就到这里啦!希望对同学们有所帮助!如果文书初稿已经完成,需要找老师进行文书润色的同学,欢迎登录meeloun论文网(+的细分专业,最重要的是性价比超高哦!
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